He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
try to milk me bitch
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