Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
