I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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