whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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