Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
