Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
