if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
