new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just invented taco cereal.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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