Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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