It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
