that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
