what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
