Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
