I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
