Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
