I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
