I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
