So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize