Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
