He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
