i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
