You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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