She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Randomize
