Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize