just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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