Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry holllllla hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

Fav 20 1542 8907
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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

Fav 30 9572 1755
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester

Fav 3 1074 2770
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

Fav 8 3789 1230
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(740): View more from Ohio

I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

Fav 10 2600 1007
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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.

Fav 8 1123 1529
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(904): View more from Florida

He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.

Fav 10 2706 1069
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(573): View more from Missouri

Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.

Fav 2 712 475
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(409): View more from Texas

He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.

Fav 2 129 171
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