I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
