she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have feelings that need drinking.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
