dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
