Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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