The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
