i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
