Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
