Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize