Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
