He is an equal opportunity slut.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
