Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i came on her dog
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you inspire me to be a worse person
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
