I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize