hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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