Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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