I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
