get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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