We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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