Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
