so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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