Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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