It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize