the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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