wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
