You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
