It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
