Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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