Rock
Scissors
Fuck
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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