i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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