Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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