She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
