just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
