So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Do vagina's smell?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i came on her dog
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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