what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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