On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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