I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
