Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize