My first STD was from a foam party
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
