What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
