Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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