just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
