I wish you could order shots online.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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