the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
cat food counts as protein by the way
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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